Original Concept Vampire Movies

Midnight Son - A benign vampire who considers his affliction an actual condition, who works around it and still has humanity, a modern vampire.  This was a unique portrayal in the life of a contemporary vampire minus the wealth and privilege or vagabond concept we are so accustomed  to seeing in vampire movies.  This was truly original.

30 Days of Night - Oh hell yes, vampires in Alaska where 30 days of complete darkness and night can exist, why did nobody ever think of this before?

The Hamiltons - A family of vampires and a clueless youngest child, pretty boss!  Its like party of five with incestuous siblings and a normal little brother.

Let the Right One In (Let Me In) - Child vampires manipulating human adults and other kids, great concept and something that has never been done ever!  The Swedish version was better than the American one, but they were both well done and I enjoyed them.  It takes a little bit of brainpower to read into the situation and there is just enough suspense to keep you guessing. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) - A snotty blonde cheerleader who is a chosen vampire hunter to be trained by the vampire hunter elite, this is a unique and fun concept. Pee Wee Herman was a nice touch, too.

From Dusk Til Dawn (1996) - Mexican vampires and a vacation, never been done.  This was probably one of the most stylish stripper and bar vampire concepts done, when a family collides with a bar full of tough Mexican strippers, a bartender, and other vampires.  Quentin Tarantino has flair and always makes everything a good story!

The Hunger (1983) - This combines science, vampires, lesbians, and David Bowie in a dark wave 80's society; original, unique, and uber awesome!

The Lost Boys - A contemporary and derivative adaptation of Peter Pan with teenage and a child vampire is a cool concept and was done in this 80's horror classic!

Night of 1,000 Cats!

Um, Dr. Blood of Dr. Blood's Video Vault and I watched Night of 1,000 Cats (La Noche de los Mil Gatos) aka Blood Feast in unison the other night so we could see what all the hype was about, because you know, we are just two cat ladies, wait...we're one cat lady and a cat guy.  Dr. Blood is male, but he's still a cat lady!

1.  Doc and I deduced there were probably about 50-100 cats, but not a thousand.
2.  I don't get it.  It wasn't one night of cats.  It was multiple nights of helicopter and a few cats.
3.  Where do I purchase the brown leather coat and all the brown unitards in this flick?
4.  Would you get into a helicopter if a guy tried to pick you up in one?
5.  If you own a creepy castle, a thousand cats, and a large mute, bald, limping Mexican we can't date.
6.  Pick me up at the door.  I don't want to take a ride in your fecking helicopter!
7.  Your collection sucks.
8.  Why do bitches always fall when being chased?
9.   I'm calling the ASPCA.
10. I never want to canoe with you.  You suck and I look better in booty shorts than you do.

American Horror Story

As you are no doubt already aware, "American Horror Story" premiered last night on FX.

It's going to take a while to really pick up but it's already got a "Twin Peaks" feel to it and I can see it lasting for at least one season and possibly even two. The haters are already saying that it won't last for five episodes before it gets axed but we shall see.

The pace was very fast and the biggest flaw to this "pilot" episode was that it tried to pack too much and too many characters in at once but I'm sure that it will even out over time. Obviously, the intention was to appeal to the largest audience as quickly as possible so there were definitely a lot of clichéd ghost story formulas including a recognisably Amityville-style curse and some noticeable borrowing from "The Shining".

Of course, it was derivative as hell, the special effects were very much TV quality, and the dialogue reeked of "Nip/Tuck" due to who the creators are but I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The sets and make-up were outstanding so it certainly looked the part.

The story itself was a bit messy, not all that scary or horrific either, but I can see all that changing as the characters start getting more fleshed out and it becomes possible to care about them. I'm not sure if I will care much about all the relationship problems which are going to keep cropping up (especially with the teenage daughter who seemed to be little more than a female version of Matt McNamara) but the acting and characterisation is likely to carry this along just like "Nip/Tuck". We all know how that series had some of the most preposterous storylines ever.

Although I wish that I could now unsee Dylan McDermott cranking (and I think I've seen enough of his bare buttocks for a lifetime too), I'm certainly going to keep tuning in each week for Moira the sexy housekeeper. It goes without saying that I prefer the younger model played by Alexandra Breckenridge (above). It's a neat twist that everyone else apart from Ben (Dylan McDermott) sees her as the scarier-looking Frances Conroy.

One thing I picked up on, but many people wouldn't have noticed, was that the psycho teenager played by Evan Peters (from the much lamented "Invasion") was introduced with "Georgie's Theme" from "Twisted Nerve" (1968). Some people might recognise the whistling from "Kill Bill" as it was used there too but the intended "pop-culture reference" wasn't wasted on me.

It was also nice to see Jessica Lange in something again. I last saw her in "Hush" (1998) which wasn't a good film and, unfortunately, she seemed to be playing much the same pushy, Southern role again here. I just hope that her kleptomaniac character becomes far more deliciously evil as there were huge hints that she will.

The biggest name in this appears to be Connie Britton but I've never seen her in anything other than the very disappointing "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake so I'm not sure what all the fuss is about with her yet. She's acting a good part (albeit channelling Joely Richardson's delivery without the bulging-eyed, gasping face) but I'm not liking her "eco-friendly" character too much especially as it has already been revealed that she's got a very kinky sex-life going on with her gimped-up husband which is far more interesting.

Anyway, if you missed both showings of "American Horror Story" last night, don't worry because FX will repeat this episode again next week before the new one.

You can also check out the Facebook page and official website for more details.

Coming soon! The Woman (2011)

"When a successful country lawyer captures and attempts to civilize the last remaining member of a violent clan that has roamed the Northeast coast for decades, he puts the lives of his family in jeopardy."

I really don't know where to begin with reviewing "The Woman" because, although it's quite unlike anything that I've seen before, it's still somewhat derivative of a lot of other dysfunctional family stories in places.

With anything written by Jack Ketchum, you know it's going to be a little bit "out there" and, by having Lucky McKee direct it, it's likely to be even more so. Paradoxically, everything is extremely very well reigned in here and doesn't ever become bizarrely unrealistic or comical. I find that to be a very welcome and refreshing change.

Now as much as I want to say that "The Woman" is unique, it isn't. If you've ever seen "The X-Files" season one episode called "Jersey Devil" then the idea of a feral human being won't be much of a surprise to you. It was even done more recently in "Shiver", a Spanish film from 2008.

Demented, dysfunctional families aren't all that new either. You only have to look up "Spider Baby" (1968) to see how that all began. But, as I've said, "The Woman" is no comedy or, at least, not a comedy that I can categorise as one. It's amusing in places but there really aren't any major chuckles to be had out of it unless you are as sick and twisted as I am.

Combining the two elements by having a dysfunctional family kidnap a feral woman, and then to have their characters being further revealed by their interactions with their captive, is an ambitious idea which actually works fairly well. Of course there are flaws and quite a few moments which are too reminiscent of Dario Argento's "Jenifer" (from the "Masters of Horror" series) for comfort.

One thing which I'm puzzled over is whether or not "The Woman" is a kind of feminist movie or a totally misogynistic one. I wondered the same thing about Lars Von Trier's "Antichrist" (2009) although I gave up ever trying to analyse that director's mind a long time ago.

If I had to pick a side, I'd say "The Woman" is very feminist yet it shows misogyny in all its ugliness. I'll leave all the stuff about whether the message of the film is that women can only survive against men by reverting to their animal natures to people who actually give a damn plus I don't want to give away any spoilers.

For me, the nudity, torture and gore are far more important when rating a horror movie plus the effect that the characters have on me. "The Woman" isn't the most brutal movie that I've ever seen but the effects are certainly worthwhile and the acting is pretty decent too.

Angela Bettis stands out (as she always does when directed by Lucky McKee) but Sean Bridgers isn't too shabby either. Think of "The Stepfather" (1987) but take it up several notches and you have Chris Cleek. Although none of the characters are very much more than caricatures, it's how the full extent of their relationship is slowly revealed that makes the drama so engrossing.

The star of the whole thing though is, of course, Pollyanna McIntosh as the nameless feral woman. She may not look as pretty here as she did in "Exam" (2009) but she certainly knows how to pull off a purely animal look. Getting to see her completely nude is a bonus too.

Neither Pollyanna McIntosh or Angela Bettis are the best looking women in this film though. That honour belongs to Carlee Baker whose acting, unfortunately, is so bad that she can't even pronounce her own character's name properly. You never know with Lucky McKee so the bad acting and mispronunciation may well be intentional.

If you've already seen "The Girl Next Door" (2007), "The Lost" (2006) or "Offspring" (2009), Jack Ketchum's style will be quite familiar. Although I don't think that "The Woman" is nearly as controversial as any of those, it still continues the same style of dealing with taboo subjects in a more horrific format than some people will be used to.

You can read as much or as little into "The Woman" as you like but it won't change the fact that it's an immensely satisfying experience.

"The Woman" opens on October 14th.

Apollo 18 Review (2011)

When they released the trailer and that picture I was pretty excited to see this film.  Hell if they encountered a monster in a rubber suit I think I would have enjoyed it more but overall I was disappointed by the film.

Plot:  Decades-old found footage from NASA's abandoned Apollo 18 mission, where two American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, reveals the reason the U.S. has never returned to the moon. imdb.com/title/tt1772240/

     They were really pushing the cover up  and conspiracy angle when promoting the film.  Even by having a supposed website of hours of footage from this mission that the film says was edited down to make this film.  If that was the case I wish they went back and reedited it and put some monsters or creatures in it and made the film scary.  Unfortunately the site is down now so I have no idea what was on it.  Maybe the government took it down.  Either way it worked for the publicity of the movie.

     Let's start with some positives as the look of the film I thought was great.  All the cramped shots and the vast feel of when they were on the moon was well done.  Did they shoot it in the desert,on a sound stage or really on the moon?  I didn't even want to look the answer up because it makes it more impressive not knowing.  The acting did not lack either,Warren Christie was really good in his role.  I was also intrigued by what these astronauts were going through and dealing with on this mission. Especially towards the end when you realize that the government can not be trusted.  But didn't we know that already.

     To me the plot kind of fell apart towards the end.  I don't believe this plays well as a horror film.  As a conspiracy film with some creepy elements yes that will work but as a horror fan the horror element was not there for me.  There were maybe 3 jump scares which you see coming so it was effective to some extent.  When we find out the reason that we supposedly stopped going to the moon a lot of viewers I think will become upset.  It is hard sometimes to come up with a scary creature or something in a film that makes the viewer really say holy hell that's insane.  So that part was a let down and then the movie to me copped out and went with a basic ending.

     I would say that if you are looking for some sort of creature film or a film where they encounter something so disturbing that it will stay with you forever then this will not be for you.  If you like the conspiracy aspect and are more for the visual look and feel of this film then you will probably enjoy the film. 

Source for trailer  youtube.com/ Machinima

Chillerama NYC midnight showing Recap and Review *Might Contain Spoilers*

Well first things first as you can see in the poster the Blu-Ray, Dvd and Digital Download is set to come out November 29th 2011 so if you can not see it in the theater you will get a chance soon.  So for the midnight showing there was a good sized crowd, Director Joe Lynch and Kristina Klebe who starred in the Diary of Anne Frankenstein short was in attendance to watch the film with the audience and also Lloyd Kaufman was in attendance as well so it already was starting off great and we didn't even get to see the film yet.  Joe Lynch introduced the film and talked a little about how himself and the other directors got together and talked about how they miss exploitation type films and actually going to the theater or drive-in and seeing these films on the big screen with actual audience reactions.  So the idea was set in motion, hit a hiccup to get funding, got some funding and bam they went with it and made this film happen.  I will say that what they created is fun,over the top, wrong on a bunch of levels and I absolutely loved it.

 Directed by: Adam Rifkin  "Wadzilla"
                     Tim Sullivan   "I Was A Teenage Werebear"
                     Adam Green   "The Diary of Anne Frankenstein"
                     Joe Lynch   "Zom-B-Movie"

Synopsis:  It's the closing night at the last drive-in theater in America and Cecil B. Kaufman has planned the ultimate marathon of lost film prints to unleash upon his faithful cinephile patrons. Four films so rare that they have never been exhibited publicly on American soil until this very night! With titles like Wadzilla, I Was A Teenage Werebear, The Diary of Anne Frankenstein, and Zom-B-Movie, Chillerama not only celebrates the golden age of drive-in B horror shlock but also spans over four decades of cinema with something for every bad taste.   imdb.com/title/tt1727252/

Now actually Zom-B-Movie is the wrap around film so the actual first part that leads up to the drive in and after every short film shown we are taken back to the characters watching these films is part of Zom-B-Movie.  The actual last film that was supposed to be shown was Deathication introduced by Fernando Phagabeefy (Lynch) which is literally a shit filled masterpiece when the film gets eaten up then the Zom-B-Movie invasion fucking (seriously) begins.

 Wadzilla:  It has the classic 50's monster invading a city look and feel down pact.  It just so happens that the creature attacking New York is a giant mutated sperm.  A man who has a very low sperm count starts to take special pills(which happened to be next to a radioactive canister) to strengthen the sperm he does have and well as you can probably guess from the title, leads to a huge load of a problem to say the least.  The acting,look and story was great.  Definitely funny and all the innuendo in the short was perfect and you have to listen to catch all of them.  If you don't mind semen this one has you covered.

I Was A Teenage Werebear:  This short mixes your beach surfer party films with a little Lost Boys vibe in it.  But just imagine if in Lost Boys David was trying to get Michael to let his inner gay Werebear out then this would be that movie.  You have some musical numbers, male on male wrestling and of course your werebears.  Again the key to all of these shorts are the the twist these directors did to the classic schlocky exploitation films of the past.  The only problem I had with this short was that the pacing is slower then the other shorts.  So after the beginning and Wadzilla it feels like you hit a speed bump.  But the overall story and innuendo is still there and I found it to be hilarious.

The Diary of Anne Frankenstein:  Now for myself and I believe a lot that see this movie this short steals the show.  It is so well done and so damn hysterical.  I can watch it a million times and laugh just as hard every single time.  The main catch is that the actors actually speak German in the short and their words are subtitled.  However Joel David Moore who plays Hitler knows no German and only speaks gibberish but his subtitles are real sentences.  Listening to all the things he says is great and you can actually here some familiar words or people names, see how many you can catch.  The acting in the short is fantastic all around, Joel David Moore, Kristina Klebe, Kane Hodder, the nazi soldiers, the Frank's everyone does a great job.  I feel that some of the best scenes are in this short.

Deathication/Zom-B-Movie:  Like I said before Deathication was supposed to be the last film which is a shit filled splatter fest but gets interrupted and we go into the end of the wrap around film Zom-B-Movie.  The line that's said in the trailer "When there's no more room left in Hell the dead shall fuck the earth" pretty much let's you know that this last short will be a zombie orgy that you will definitely not forget. If The Diary of Anne Frank had some of the best scenes that I watched this short doesn't let that momentum slip and also throws in some of the most famous and memorable one liners from movies past and adds them to a whole new context for everyone to enjoy. 

Also don't forget to stay for the credits and you will be entertained a little by each film again.

I would say that anyone thinking about seeing this film see the trailer.  If you don't find it funny then you will probably not like the film.  However if the trailer tickles your fancy then you will be in for a great ride of fun,debauchery, semen,shit,cleavage,sexual innuendo,blood and whatever else that you can think of and it's in this film.


2nd chillerama poster obtained from:   geektyrant.com

Rise Again - A Novel by Ben Tripp

The Walking Dead television series gave me a new-found appreciation for the zombie genre, so I decided to give a zombie novel a try. After searching around Amazon, and reading a few reviews, I settled upon Rise Again, by Ben Tripp, and fortunately, I wasn't disappointed.

The story centres around Danielle (Danny) Adeleman, an Iraq War veteran and sheriff of small American town, Forrest Peak. During Fourth of July celebrations, a mystery contagion spreads through the town leaving the population of locals and visiting tourists decimated within hours.  When the deceased begin to rise again and attack the living, Danny takes on the responsibility of a small band of survivors and flees the town, only to discover that nowhere is safe from the ravenous walking dead.

Okay, so the basic premise is pretty familiar zombie apocalypse fare, but it's the strong characters that really take this story to the next level. A warrior and natural leader, Danny is also a functioning alcoholic, scarred both physically and emotionally by her time in combat. She's not instantly likable, but the way she tenaciously faces each soul-crushing trial, while at the same time searching for her missing sister, and attempting to protect those in her charge, made me care about her despite her faults. It was also interesting the way the book focused on Danny's military mindset and her constant need to create some kind of order amidst the anarchy.

Danny's little band of survivors are also engaging, and satisfy the most important requirement for any horror tale in my opinion, and that is, you really want them to survive. Some of these supporting characters, like a gay interior designer from Los Angeles, and a town drunk, could so easily have been stereotypes, but the author peeled away the superficial facades and created real human beings who quickly became my favourites. In many ways, the novel is primarily about the manner in which a broken society brings out the best and the worst in humanity. The most unlikely characters emerge with extraordinary nobility, while the actions of others are in fact far more disturbing and monstrous than the zombie threat.

Great characters aside, Rise Again is ultimately a zombie apocalypse novel, and as such, it also contains plenty of the requisite violence, gore, and scares that the zombie genre demands. The sights, smells, sounds, and tactile sensations are vividly described, and the pace is excellent with plenty of nail-biting tension but just the right amount of respite between the big horror set pieces. Plus, without giving anything away, there is a stunning cliffhanger of an ending, and happily, from what I understand, a sequel is on the way. This book would have made a great television series if The Walking Dead hadn't got there first.

Rise Again is available here.

Macabre: Dead But Not Yet Buried

POV: A Family Undertaking

This documentary is horrifying and fascinating at the same time. It follows families as they design and build coffins, plans for burying their own family members in their gardens. It seems quite shocking at first and as you see interviews with the dying family members, you realize this is the most beautiful gift of all. It's unsettling and riveting at the same time.

What are death masks?



They are molds made upon the dead person’s face to forever hold their image in three dimensions. “The making of a death mask is a messy business – literally. They are difficult to make and the best position for the corpse is not lying down but sitting up. The shift from sculpture to masks came about in the Middle Ages when the art of waxwork and plaster casting became more sophisticated. The tradition evolved from royalty to eminent people and continues to this day. Another use, rather than in memoriam for an individuals was for the scientific study of human physiognomy. It was said that experts could tell criminals from the shape of their heads. Casts were also used to record and collect data on the racial differences in the human head.”

What are Post Mortem Photos?





They were very popular in the Victorian era when photography was relatively new. Families felt comforted to get a picture of their lost loved one, often times the only record they have of their existence since photos were rare for many families. Often times, the baby would be held in the parent’s arms or photos taken in a coffin or with family members around. As macabre as it seems, it put a reality on the loss.

What are hair mementos?



They were mementos made for the grieving families including wall hangings made with designs done in the dead one’s hair woven throughout it and funeral flowers.

If you're still in the mood for death, you might try a couple of horror movies based on mortuaries...


Phantasm


Mortuary