Wednesday, February 25, 2015

5 Free Horror Movies You Can Watch Online

I haven't seen most of these so don't shoot the messenger, but yeah, you can watch these online when you are in a horror mood and you have no fresh ideas, which I have to say, I've been experiencing a little bit lately, horror burnout, I suppose.  I'm enjoying (NOT!) a New England winter so whatever you can do at home becomes pretty exhausted by the time February rolls around so if you are stuck in feet and feet of snow, I feel ya!

Random thought:  I cut my fingers peeling potatoes so tonight, it will be a bit of a blood feast, yum!  Who'd have thought Rite Aid knives purchased for a dollar would be so friggin' sharp!?

Colour From the Dark (2008) - Pietro, Lucia, and Alice live on a remote farm as provincial farmers who live off the land they work.  Pietro has a physical disability that keeps him from fighting in WWII, but is able to farm.  Lucia is traditional woman, who is lovely and quiet and is dedicated to her family.  The three lead a relatively happy life though they are poor and must toil hard.  While pumping water from the well one day, Pietro and Alice stumble upon a strange occurrence under the earth, exposing a strange force.  This strange occurrence produces flashes of color under the water and then fades away.  Subsequent to this odd happening, unexplained events commence on the ordinary farm.  The vegetables on the farm begin to take on a weird glow.  The color soon envelopes the entire farm and horror and death ensures.  

Vengeance of the Zombies (1973) Classic Old Horror Movies Full Length by Classic Movie Channel

The Unseeable - This one, I did see and I highly suggest it!  Though it's subtitled, because it's Thai, I really dug this one so be in the mood to read subtitles and if that's not your thing, you might not be able to deal, but it's well worth it if you can!  It's a twisty one and will keep you guessing until the end so it's a bit of a haunting thriller. Set in Siam, this story surrounds Nualjan, a young pregnant woman who is searching for her missing husband.  Unable to locate her husband, pregnant, and alone, she is taken in by a widow, Runjuan, who lives in a sprawling, remote mansion in the country that is fairly creepy.  This property is home to many societal cast-offs, including the brash yet loyal and kind, Choy, who becomes Nualjin's new bestie.

Cropsey (2009) - Although this is a documentary about the boogey man escaped mental patient, often referred to as, "Cropsey" among Staten Island locals in New York, it's interesting and creepy and features lots of abandoned asylum footage along with a story about Andre Rand, who was a convicted child kidnapper from Staten Island who once lived on the grounds of an abandoned mental hospital at which he once worked and lived when it was up and running.

Awkward, strange, and with nowhere to go, many patients and the orderly, Rand, were left with nowhere to go, making the tunnels under the once approved state school, their home.  This guy is the creepy your parents warned you about, a true life horror story based on fact.

Monsturd (2003) -This cannot be good, but it's about poop so that's interesting and since I have been having difficulty pooping this week, this just tickles my fancy.  Maybe I'll watch it, too!  Anyway, apparently the synopsis is this, "A serial killer mutates in a sewer, becoming a monster made of human excrement."  If a big poop ran after me, I'd be terrified.  I'd be terrified, amazed, and I'd get out my can of Lysol.  Yup, that's how I'd fight!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Original Concept Vampire Movies

Midnight Son - A benign vampire who considers his affliction an actual condition, who works around it and still has humanity, a modern vampire.  This was a unique portrayal in the life of a contemporary vampire minus the wealth and privilege or vagabond concept we are so accustomed  to seeing in vampire movies.  This was truly original.

30 Days of Night - Oh hell yes, vampires in Alaska where 30 days of complete darkness and night can exist, why did nobody ever think of this before?

The Hamiltons - A family of vampires and a clueless youngest child, pretty boss!  Its like party of five with incestuous siblings and a normal little brother.

Let the Right One In (Let Me In) - Child vampires manipulating human adults and other kids, great concept and something that has never been done ever!  The Swedish version was better than the American one, but they were both well done and I enjoyed them.  It takes a little bit of brainpower to read into the situation and there is just enough suspense to keep you guessing. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) - A snotty blonde cheerleader who is a chosen vampire hunter to be trained by the vampire hunter elite, this is a unique and fun concept. Pee Wee Herman was a nice touch, too.

From Dusk Til Dawn (1996) - Mexican vampires and a vacation, never been done.  This was probably one of the most stylish stripper and bar vampire concepts done, when a family collides with a bar full of tough Mexican strippers, a bartender, and other vampires.  Quentin Tarantino has flair and always makes everything a good story!

The Hunger (1983) - This combines science, vampires, lesbians, and David Bowie in a dark wave 80's society; original, unique, and uber awesome!

The Lost Boys - A contemporary and derivative adaptation of Peter Pan with teenage and a child vampire is a cool concept and was done in this 80's horror classic!

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Horrific Historical Home Remedies

1.  Dead Mouse Paste - In Ancient Egypt, those afflicted with a toothache would put a dead mouse, but more commonly a mashed mouse paste was applied to the tooth, sometimes with other combined ingredients.

Not only did the Egyptians do this, but Renaissance England, a home remedy for warts was to sever a mouse in two and rub that on the wart.  They ate mouse meat, anyway, so it was no big deal.  They used mice to help other ailments, too, such as coughs, measles, and smallpox.  Yum, yum, eat up!

2.  Hemorrhoid Cauterization - Basically, if you had a hemorrhoid, a red hot iron poker was shoved up your booty and that was the end of it, I guess.  How could it not be?

3.  Crocodile Poop - Ancient Egyptian women inserted crocodile crap into their vaginas to prevent pregnancy.  Would that be, because their partner wouldn't bang them?  Yuck!  They also did this with elephant poop.  Egyptians used all kinds of things lodged in the vagina to prevent conception.

4.  Ancient Battlefield Wound Antiseptic - This one makes total sense and I guess you do what you have to do, but its pee, just pee.  They kept doing it, because duh, it worked.

5.  Electro-Libido Therapy (Heidelberg Belt) - Have erectile dysfunction (ED)?  How about an old shock to the "system" to get that bad boy back in the "swing" of things again?  There was a such thing as a "shock belt" to do this.

6.  Ancient Roman/Greek Speculum - How would you like to go to the gynecologist in Ancient Rome or Greece?  This is what you would be dealing with (pictured above).
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