Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Original Concept Vampire Movies


Midnight Son - A benign vampire who considers his affliction an actual condition, who works around it and still has humanity, a modern vampire.  This was a unique portrayal in the life of a contemporary vampire minus the wealth and privilege or vagabond concept we are so accustomed  to seeing in vampire movies.  This was truly original.

30 Days of Night - Oh hell yes, vampires in Alaska where 30 days of complete darkness and night can exist, why did nobody ever think of this before?

The Hamiltons - A family of vampires and a clueless youngest child, pretty boss!  Its like party of five with incestuous siblings and a normal little brother.


Let the Right One In (Let Me In) - Child vampires manipulating human adults and other kids, great concept and something that has never been done ever!  The Swedish version was better than the American one, but they were both well done and I enjoyed them.  It takes a little bit of brainpower to read into the situation and there is just enough suspense to keep you guessing. 


Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) - A snotty blonde cheerleader who is a chosen vampire hunter to be trained by the vampire hunter elite, this is a unique and fun concept. Pee Wee Herman was a nice touch, too.

From Dusk Til Dawn (1996) - Mexican vampires and a vacation, never been done.  This was probably one of the most stylish stripper and bar vampire concepts done, when a family collides with a bar full of tough Mexican strippers, a bartender, and other vampires.  Quentin Tarantino has flair and always makes everything a good story!


The Hunger (1983) - This combines science, vampires, lesbians, and David Bowie in a dark wave 80's society; original, unique, and uber awesome!



The Lost Boys - A contemporary and derivative adaptation of Peter Pan with teenage and a child vampire is a cool concept and was done in this 80's horror classic!

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Horrific Historical Home Remedies

1.  Dead Mouse Paste - In Ancient Egypt, those afflicted with a toothache would put a dead mouse, but more commonly a mashed mouse paste was applied to the tooth, sometimes with other combined ingredients.

Not only did the Egyptians do this, but Renaissance England, a home remedy for warts was to sever a mouse in two and rub that on the wart.  They ate mouse meat, anyway, so it was no big deal.  They used mice to help other ailments, too, such as coughs, measles, and smallpox.  Yum, yum, eat up!


2.  Hemorrhoid Cauterization - Basically, if you had a hemorrhoid, a red hot iron poker was shoved up your booty and that was the end of it, I guess.  How could it not be?


3.  Crocodile Poop - Ancient Egyptian women inserted crocodile crap into their vaginas to prevent pregnancy.  Would that be, because their partner wouldn't bang them?  Yuck!  They also did this with elephant poop.  Egyptians used all kinds of things lodged in the vagina to prevent conception.


4.  Ancient Battlefield Wound Antiseptic - This one makes total sense and I guess you do what you have to do, but its pee, just pee.  They kept doing it, because duh, it worked.


5.  Electro-Libido Therapy (Heidelberg Belt) - Have erectile dysfunction (ED)?  How about an old shock to the "system" to get that bad boy back in the "swing" of things again?  There was a such thing as a "shock belt" to do this.

6.  Ancient Roman/Greek Speculum - How would you like to go to the gynecologist in Ancient Rome or Greece?  This is what you would be dealing with (pictured above).

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

4 Movies Not to Watch With Your Valentine



1.  Sleeping With The Enemy (1991) - If your new guy begins rearranging the cans in your cabinet in alphabetical order, its time to say goodnight.  In this flick, Julia Roberts (Laura) leaves her picturesque beach-house via escaping by swimming out to sea and moves to Iowa with the hidden savings she obtains to get away from her psycho, controlling husband.  She meet a new guy.  He's kinda nice, but her ex can't live with out her and she surely will not be allowed to live without him.



2.  Fear (1996) - Those bad boys from the Northeast usually come equipped with a past.  Your Daddy warned you for a reason.  Ask me why Mark Wahlberg was always cast in movies where he came from New York in the 90's and I will answer I don't know!!!  Nicole met a charming, sweet, attentive boy named David with a banging ass body.  He's a little older, but he seems like the perfect gentleman.  Yeah, usually the normal ones are the biggest creeps!



3.  The Stepfather (1987) (2009 Remake) - Why do kids hate it when their single parents date?  I'd say its probably because they watched The Stepfather.  This guy is perfect.  He's nice, he works, he is willing to take care of a family, even if its a blended one.  He enjoys woodworking in his basement.  The problem is that he's a psycho and in his spare times enjoys a little murder.



4.  May (2002) - May is a girl who knows what she wants.  The problem with finding it is getting it all in one guy.  May's best friend is a doll and most guys find that a little creepy let alone she has a lazy eye and is sort of socially awkward.  If she can't love all of a man, at least she can try and love just part of him.
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